Satire hits too close to reality.

Editor's note: As you read this and laugh hysterically consider that Harvard Endowment comes in at a whopping $53.2 billion (last time we checked).
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Genius Trump Enacts Plan To Dumb Down Chinese Population By Inviting Them To Attend American Universities

August 26, 2025 | By Babylon Bee

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In yet another genius move designed to weaken a rival nation, President Donald Trump enacted a plan to dumb down the Chinese population by inviting them to attend American universities.

Trump's plan was praised by national security experts, who cited it as a brilliant maneuver to reduce China's influence on global affairs in the long term by shrewdly allowing their students to be made substantially less intelligent at educational institutions in the U.S.

"Pretty soon, Chinese kids will all be dumb, just as dumb as American students," the president reportedly told his advisors. "We'll let in hundreds of thousands of Chinese students, have them waste their time at American universities sitting in gender studies classes and college courses about Taylor Swift, and the next thing you know, China will be in the toilet. If it worked here, it can work there. It'll make things very difficult for the Chinamen, believe me. Very difficult."

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